Valentine’s Day Special: How AI Is Changing the Way We Date

The times of handwritten love notes and unexpected meetings leading to romance are now behind us with the advent of AI dating.

Artificial intelligence (AI) is proving to be the new cupid, changing how we find matches and communicate in the dating scene, from virtual companionship to creating the ideal text.

We’re taking a closer look: from eHarmony’s initial use of algorithms to the advanced matching methods of Tinder and Hinge, the tech isn’t just altering our ways of meeting but also how we form connections and fall in love.

This detailed investigation will cover the pros and cons of AI in love, ethical issues to consider, and what the future may hold.

It’s Valentine’s Day; are you ready to understand love’s new digital language?

Key Takeaways

  • Online dating has existed for a while, but the early algorithms, like those used by eHarmony and OkCupid, have given way to AI matchmaking on Tinder and Hinge.
  • While offering personalized matches and improving user experience, AI also raises ethical concerns around privacy and authenticity.
  • Companies like QuickBlox bring AI integration into dating platforms, enhancing interactions but cautioning against over-reliance.

The Rise of AI Dating Apps

Technology has greatly changed the game, making online dating one of the most common ways for couples to meet in the United States.


In fact, 30% of Americans said that they have tried online dating at least once (2020). Nearly a quarter (23%) said they have gone on a date with someone they met through a dating website or app, while 12% said they have been in a committed relationship or married to such a person.

The Rise of AI Dating Apps

However, while online dating itself still feels new, the technological evolutions under the hood are significantly altering how people find love, thanks to moving from simple matchmaking to complex AI-driven platforms.

Originally, dating sites used basic algorithms and user choices to make connections.

However, too many choices often make it hard for users to decide — a situation known as choice overload. This led to the development of more advanced compatibility matching.

eHarmony was one of the first to create a matching algorithm in 2000. Users filled out a detailed test with up to 450 questions to find compatible partners.

Soon after, OkCupid introduced its own algorithmic matching. It calculated “match percentages” based on users’ answers to questions and their importance. This was an early effort to use AI to improve matchmaking, aiming to narrow down the dating pool, increase user happiness, and lead to better connections.

Now, dating websites have evolved into AI dating apps, there is both more data and more advanced algorithms to match users based on shared interests and behaviors.

Apps like Tinder initially used the Elo rating system to match users by desirability, while Hinge uses the Gale-Shapley algorithm for deeper compatibility, focusing on long-term relationships.

Ultimately, these AI dating apps aim to enhance user experience by creating meaningful connections, reflecting a mix of human desires and algorithmic efficiency as they continue to adapt to changing user behaviors and technological advancements.

Behind the Scenes with QuickBlox

Nate MacLeitch

We spoke with Nate MacLeitch, the CEO of QuickBlox, which offers tools that help dating apps add tailored AI functionalities to their platforms.

“We have one client in India using our platform for matchmaking, helping people find their life partners. And then there’s the other side where we’re backing apps for more chilled-out social networking, such as chat relays and casual video meetups.”

The service meets a need that is evidenced in the data: a Kaspersky survey (2023) revealed that 54% of single men and 51% of single women are keen on using ChatGPT to improve their conversations, aiming to seem funnier, smarter, or manage several chats at once.

MacLeitch notes that AI can greatly improve a user’s profile and messages, making them very attractive. Yet, he warns against depending too much on AI.

“There’s this tricky part about how much AI should help out. Say AI’s jazzing up someone’s profile or making their messages all sound super attractive. That sounds cool, but it can also paint a picture that’s not quite them. We want realness, right? Genuine connections.”

And for those who are not seeking genuine connections, you also have the rise of the AI partner:

“You’ve got some going all-in with virtual boyfriends or girlfriends, which is kind of out there, but it’s catching on, especially for folks who feel a bit lonely. It’s like giving them someone to chat with.”

This mix of what AI can do, from improving interactions to providing virtual companionship, highlights how complex it is in the world of online dating.

Although dating AI creates new ways to connect, keeping a focus on authenticity and genuine relationships is very important.

Ethical and Privacy Considerations for Dating AI

The use of dating AI introduces important ethical and privacy issues. Concerns about protecting personal data, ensuring users agree to how their information is used, and avoiding misuse are key challenges that both developers and users must address with care.

Navigating Ethical Waters

Protecting user data is a major ethical issue. AI can analyze and learn from large amounts of personal data, leading to concerns about the exposure or misuse of sensitive information. This situation raises questions about whether users fully understand how their data is used and the potential consequences.

MacLeitch highlights the need for openness and responsible use of AI, saying:

“When it comes to dating apps, informed consent is massive. Users should have a say in how their data is used.

“It’s about transparency – they should know if their data’s helping them get better matches or whatever they signed up for.”

To protect user privacy and guarantee informed consent, AI dating apps can use various methods.

MacLeitch points out that implementing strong data protection and making data anonymous can prevent unauthorized access to user information. Apps should also offer straightforward privacy policies and consent agreements that clearly explain data usage.

Giving users control over their data is also crucial. This means allowing users to opt-out of AI features, erase their data, or change privacy settings as they see fit.

MacLeitch added: “Users should have a clear picture of what’s going on with their data.

“Not everyone’s going to read the fine print in the terms and conditions, but it’s on the companies using our platform to be upfront and handle things the right way.

“In the end, it’s all about being responsible with the data and making sure everyone knows what’s happening.”

Combating Digital Deception

The use of AI dating apps also brings the potential for digital deception, including catfishing and scams.

MacLeitch shares his thoughts on the complexities of AI, saying:

“There are bumps along the road, like dealing with catfishing or the ethical side of AI making your profile pic look top-notch. It’s got its ups and downs – it can make you look good in chats, but it could also end up giving the wrong idea.

“The thing to remember is that AI is a tool, not a magic wand. It’s got its good points and not-so-good points, especially when it comes to people talking and getting to know each other.

“It’s not just about what AI can do; it’s about using it in a way that’s right, morally.”

The Future of AI in Dating

Looking ahead, the relationship between AI and dating apps is set to grow even stronger, leading to a new phase in online dating. This future is shaped by enhanced personalization, better safety features, and the societal embrace of AI.

AI is likely to improve how we match with potential partners and also influence how society views relationships and the role of technology in fostering human connections.

Advanced Personalization

Future AI dating will offer match suggestions based on deeper analysis, including users’ life goals and emotional compatibility. Personalization will also be more intuitive, aligning closely with individual user preferences.

As we move forward, the partnership between AI and users is set to become more collaborative. MacLeitch expresses this idea:

“It’s not just about AI getting better; it’s about AI teaming up with humans. We see AI and human interaction as a combo that’s getting stronger. It’s an exciting time for AI in communication, and we’re stoked to be a part of it.”

Improved Safety Measures

We are likely to see AI-driven verification to enhance user safety on dating AI platforms. Furthermore, there will probably be predictive analytics for identifying and mitigating potential risks, ensuring a secure dating environment.

MacLeitch underscores the importance of AI as a safety net, emphasizing its role in flagging safety concerns while respecting privacy boundaries:

“The AI has to be sharp enough to spot safety red flags without getting all up in everyone’s business. We’re always juggling this – keeping users safe and making sure the AI is functional while making sure we’re not stepping over the privacy line.”

Societal Embrace of AI

As society’s views on technology and relationships change, AI will likely become crucial in shaping how we connect online. Accepting AI in dating may lead to wider acceptance of technology in both romantic and friendship-based relationships.

MacLeitch expresses excitement about the synergy between AI and human interaction in dating:

“AI is already a big part of our lives, and it’s only getting bigger. People are using it in so many ways, even in their love lives. And hey, why not? It can add a bit of fun to the whole dating scene.

“As long as the companies behind these AI tools are doing things right, I think we’ll see more and more of this kind of thing. AI’s not just a tech thing anymore; it’s becoming a part of our stories and maybe even our wedding speeches!”

The Bottom Line

AI dating apps have been reshaping online dating, enhancing how personalization, safety, and human connections are managed. As dating AI progresses, it aims to tackle issues around ethics and privacy, creating a safer and more open space for users.

The future of AI dating looks promising, with AI and human interaction coming together to explore new ways of connecting, changing how technology plays a part in our romantic lives.

About Nate MacLeitch

Nate MacLeitch, CEO of QuickBlox, is a tech-focused entrepreneur with a career spanning from SMS gateways to today’s AI communication.

MacLeitch is a dedicated mentor and investor in startups, having guided ventures like Springboard Mobile and TechStars. He holds degrees from the University of California, Davis, and The London School of Economics and Political Science.


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Maria Webb
Technology journalist

Maria is a technology journalist with over five years of experience with a deep interest in AI and machine learning. She excels in data-driven journalism, making complex topics both accessible and engaging for her audience. Her work is prominently featured on Techopedia, Business2Community, and Eurostat, where she provided creative technical writing. She holds a Bachelor of Arts Honours in English and a Master of Science in Strategic Management and Digital Marketing from the University of Malta. Maria's background includes journalism for, covering a range of topics from local events to international tech trends.